You see, I’ve tried to climb Quandary before, several years back. Circumstances made it impossible and I’ve wanted to climb it again ever since. To prove I can.
I feel the same way about writing sometimes. There is often a lot of opposition. Internal and external struggles that try to get me to step away from writing, try to stop me from getting to the top of that mountain.
During the first hike up Quandary the external opposition was time. I had to be back by a certain time and we were just not going fast enough to make it all the way up and all the way down. Then there were internal struggles. It was hard. I was tired. My legs hurt. Who in their right mind wanted to hike three thousand feet at this kind of elevation?
And I didn’t make it.
This time, with my husband, there was more opposition. The weather was closing in and we had to rush. There was a lot of snow, it was slippery. All external struggles. And inside…I was scared. I worried the weather would turn, a storm would come in. I started to think we should go back, even at those last 100 yards. Even at those last 100 feet. (To the right, that's me standing before the first false summit of Quandary wondering what I'd gotten myself into.) But my husband encouraged me.
Struggles like this are going to hit us at various times in our writing lives. External and internal. A rejection, no market for what we’re writing, a bad critique. And inside we feel like perhaps we’re not good enough. Like perhaps we’re not strong enough to continue. For me, oftentimes those internal struggles are the hardest. If I don’t keep my chin up and persevere I can manage to do a very good job convincing myself how hard this writing thing is. How difficult the competition is. How I’m just not good enough. But ultimately I know I’m going to keep going. I’m going to “make it to the top.”
What struggles affect you the most? External or internal? Does the “mountain” challenge you at every turn? What do you do to get through it?
P.S. I really, really want to thank my husband for keeping me going. When the clouds loomed overhead, the wind rushed past us and the top looked so far away, he grabbed my hand and prayed with me to make it to the top. That the weather would hold and we’d be strong enough to do what we came for. Thanks, honey!


